Bike Grease 2000 - Tub - 850g

I didn't buy Motorex Bike Grease 2000. No — I summoned it.

From the halls of mechanical Valhalla came this 850g tub of pure, neon-laced performance sorcery.

You think grease is just… grease?

Wrong.

This stuff looks like it was harvested from the engine room of a spaceship. It’s so neon, I wear sunglasses just to open the lid. My bearings don’t just spin — they party.

Naturally, I loaded it into a grease gun. What else was I supposed to do? Use a finger like some kind of caveman? Please. I’ve evolved now. From now, I precision-inject glowing life essence into hubs, linkages, and bottom brackets with the elegance of a surgeon and the swagger of a 90s sci-fi villain.

The first time I used it on my headset, the action became so smooth I audibly whispered, “Oh my god,” like I was in a high-budget chocolate commercial.

It’s that beautiful.

Sticky enough to stay, slick enough to move, and visually loud enough to start a rave inside a wheel bearing. This isn’t just bike grease — this is future grease. This is the stuff Tony Stark would use on his headset.

I now keep the tub prominently displayed in my garage. Not tucked away — no, it deserves to be seen. One time it rolled slightly across the bench and knocked over a lesser tub of generic grease. That wasn’t an accident. That was dominance.

Think this review is over the top?

That I dont have a life because I wrote this about this god tier grease?

Jokes on you, you just read an entire review about it.

Just buy it, its mint.